The reality of sexist abuse online

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Catchfire Catchfire's picture
The reality of sexist abuse online

"You should have your tongue ripped out"

Quote:
You always remember the first time someone calls you ugly on the internet. I imagine -- although it hasn't happened to me -- you always remember the first time someone threatens to rape you, or kill you, or urinate on you..

The sheer volume of sexist abuse thrown at female bloggers is the internet's festering sore: if you talk to any woman who writes online, the chances are she will instantly be able to reel off a Greatest Hits of insults. But it's very rarely spoken about, for both sound and unsound reasons. No one likes to look like a whiner -- particularly a woman writing in male-dominated fields such as politics, economics or computer games. Others are reluctant to give trolls the "satisfaction" of knowing they're emotionally affected by the abuse, or are afraid of incurring more by speaking out.

Both are understandable reasons, but there's another, less convincing one: doesn't everyone get abuse on the internet? After all, the incivility of the medium has prompted a rash of op-eds and books about the degradation of discourse.

While I won't deny that almost all bloggers attract some extremely inflammatory comments -- and LGBT or non-white ones have their own special fan clubs too -- there is something distinct, identifiable and near-universal about the misogynist hate directed at women online. As New Statesmanblogger David Allen Green told me: "In three years of blogging and tweeting about highly controversial political topics I have never once has any of the gender-based abuse that, say, Cath Elliott, Penny Red, or Ellie Gellard routinely receive."

Issues Pages: 
Sineed

I have been hesitant to start a blog for this reason, though my husband set one up for me three years ago.

milo204

well, seeing as the internet is an anonymous microcosm of what is going on in the brains of those in the real world, this isn't surprising.  

the world is full of sexist assholes, the internet gives people the ability to say what they want without having to answer for it, voila!

 

Unionist

[url=http://www.guardian.co.uk/world/2011/nov/05/women-bloggers-hateful-troll... bloggers call for a stop to hateful trolling by misogynist men[/url]

 

MegB

The anonymity of the Internet really reveals how much of this misogynist crap has gone underground. 

Northern Shoveler Northern Shoveler's picture

Rebecca West wrote:

The anonymity of the Internet really reveals how much of this misogynist crap has gone underground. 

I agree that it is getting far worse but I disagree that it is primarily because misogyny has gone underground.  From shit like TWO and a HAlf Men to reality shows to Dragon's Den etc etc etc etc. portrayals of women in the MSM has been going backwards for a decade at least.

To me the problem is the combination of the anonymity of the internet and the ever increasing and pervasive MSM misogynist meme.  The two are working hand in hand and both need to be addressed.  Young men are subjected to constant images and story lines that portray women as less than equal. If Charlie Sheen can become rich and famous in our society no wonder anonymous assholes think they are permitted to make the vilest misogynist statements.  

Lefauve

On a bigger scale it demonstrate de polarisation of the idea, people don't want to meet with people of other idea, the mysogyne  go to mysogyne web site etc. The good new is they are still in minority, the bad new it is easier to radicalize other people.  But the thing not to do is to radicalize our self in answer of radical idea. If we do so he(she) will go directly to a more radical forum.  And the most important is not to do a personnal attack on him and try to bring him to your value by using logic and diplomacy.

Catchfire Catchfire's picture

#mencallmethings

Quote:
Twitter is aflutter with a new hashtag, #mencallmethings, where people (mostly feminists and women-identified folks) are sharing online harassment stories. It’s not pretty.

Online harassment is a subject close to my heart (unfortunately) - it’s somethingI’ve written about at length and something that Feministing has tried to shine a spotlight on for years. These days, it’s something I don’t write about often because of just how bad it’s gotten. I can’t remember the last day where I opened my email and there wasn’t a piece of vicious (often sexual, often violent) hate mail there. I also don’t write about it because these days I’m loathe to give any attention to harassers - in part because that’s what they’re so desperate for, but also because the threats have become so bad that my life offline has been seriously impaired by it and I’m just plain scared.

But that’s the goal of harassers - to scare, to terrorize, but most of all, to shut us up.

Why I started #mencallmethings

Quote:
Sometimes, there isn’t actually that much difference between someone saying “I want to rape you with a chainsaw” and someone saying “I hope you get raped with a chainsaw.” If the first comment contains information that leads you to believe the person can find you, you report it. But often, it doesn’t. It’s just someone sending you some words, in the hopes that the next time you sit down to write, you’ll remember that yikesy chainsaw-rape thing and think, “you know? Maybe this isn’t such a great idea. Maybe I don’t need to say this. Maybe I’ll piss someone off, and maybe it will be more than I can handle, and you know, maybe my thoughts on this topic just ARE NOT IMPORTANT ENOUGH for me to risk the headache/fear/irritation/distress/panic attack I know I will get.”

And then, when you say that aloud, they call you a whiny little girl who can’t handle the Internet. Because, of COURSE multiple chainsaw-rape comments aren’t a big deal! They’re just words! Sticks and stones! Suck it up, you big Orwellian diaper baby!

To you, my friends, I say: Fuck that noise. All of this matters. A hostile work environment matters. Being afraid of your own in-box matters. Deleting your blog because that’s the only way for you to have a normal, non-hate-filled life matters. “Accepting” that continual, virulent, hateful misogynist abuse is a pre-condition for being a lady who talks about thing, or for challenging sexism in any way, no matter who you are: That matters. And if you think we’re fragile, well. LET US COUNT THE WAYS we have hacked it, under conditions your pampered manly self justcannot imagine. LET US DEMONSTRATE FOR YOU the shit we wade through, every day, in order to talk about whether or not we liked that one “Community” episode or Lady GaGa album. LET US JUST TELL YOU what we put up with, what we’ve been strong enough to endure, and even knowingly court; the given consequences we face for being anti-sexist and/or ladies on the Internet, which we’ve all put up with, without crumbling. And then you can decide whether we’re wimps or not.

Hence, #MenCallMeThings. (Cf. “Men Explain Things To Me,” a Top Ten Lady Essay of All Time.) A Twitter hashtag, because you know I love the hashtags, dedicated to listing the names we’ve all been called. 

Lefauve

Catchfire wrote:

#mencallmethings

Quote:
Twitter is aflutter with a new hashtag, #mencallmethings, where people (mostly feminists and women-identified folks) are sharing online harassment stories. It’s not pretty.

Online harassment is a subject close to my heart (unfortunately) - it’s somethingI’ve written about at length and something that Feministing has tried to shine a spotlight on for years. These days, it’s something I don’t write about often because of just how bad it’s gotten. I can’t remember the last day where I opened my email and there wasn’t a piece of vicious (often sexual, often violent) hate mail there. I also don’t write about it because these days I’m loathe to give any attention to harassers - in part because that’s what they’re so desperate for, but also because the threats have become so bad that my life offline has been seriously impaired by it and I’m just plain scared.

But that’s the goal of harassers - to scare, to terrorize, but most of all, to shut us up.

Why I started #mencallmethings

Quote:
Sometimes, there isn’t actually that much difference between someone saying “I want to rape you with a chainsaw” and someone saying “I hope you get raped with a chainsaw.” If the first comment contains information that leads you to believe the person can find you, you report it. But often, it doesn’t. It’s just someone sending you some words, in the hopes that the next time you sit down to write, you’ll remember that yikesy chainsaw-rape thing and think, “you know? Maybe this isn’t such a great idea. Maybe I don’t need to say this. Maybe I’ll piss someone off, and maybe it will be more than I can handle, and you know, maybe my thoughts on this topic just ARE NOT IMPORTANT ENOUGH for me to risk the headache/fear/irritation/distress/panic attack I know I will get.”

And then, when you say that aloud, they call you a whiny little girl who can’t handle the Internet. Because, of COURSE multiple chainsaw-rape comments aren’t a big deal! They’re just words! Sticks and stones! Suck it up, you big Orwellian diaper baby!

To you, my friends, I say: Fuck that noise. All of this matters. A hostile work environment matters. Being afraid of your own in-box matters. Deleting your blog because that’s the only way for you to have a normal, non-hate-filled life matters. “Accepting” that continual, virulent, hateful misogynist abuse is a pre-condition for being a lady who talks about thing, or for challenging sexism in any way, no matter who you are: That matters. And if you think we’re fragile, well. LET US COUNT THE WAYS we have hacked it, under conditions your pampered manly self justcannot imagine. LET US DEMONSTRATE FOR YOU the shit we wade through, every day, in order to talk about whether or not we liked that one “Community” episode or Lady GaGa album. LET US JUST TELL YOU what we put up with, what we’ve been strong enough to endure, and even knowingly court; the given consequences we face for being anti-sexist and/or ladies on the Internet, which we’ve all put up with, without crumbling. And then you can decide whether we’re wimps or not.

Hence, #MenCallMeThings. (Cf. “Men Explain Things To Me,” a Top Ten Lady Essay of All Time.) A Twitter hashtag, because you know I love the hashtags, dedicated to listing the names we’ve all been called. 

Unfortunately your post show how laxist the police is to harrasement on the net recently It took 1500 complaint to arrest an religious wako who were treating scientific journalist. We need to file endlessly to get one arrest.

Maysie Maysie's picture

Thanks for starting this thread, Catchfire.

Unfortunately, since real-life, in-person sexist harassment has such a low priority, I can't imagine online harassment being taken seriously until and unless it escalates. It's the same for physical harassment/ intimidation/ threats and it's wrong.